When I Grow Up

"Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come." -Psalm 71:17-18

I've been thinking lately... what am I going to be like ten years from now? Who am I going to marry? Will I have children? I'm sure these thoughts run through every 20 year old girl's brain. I just want to be sure that I am making the right choices. Although, I understand that I will definitely make mistakes throughout my lifetime.

I realized for the first time last night that saving yourself for marriage is by far one of the hardest things to do. Well, not really. When it comes down to it, it's a matter of selfishness... to not want to save yourself is like telling your future spouse that you don't really care about them and was so selfish that you cared about your own desires more than theirs. More importantly, it's telling your Father that you have better plans for yourself than He has for you. That you don't care what He has in store for you and you are going to do what you want whether He likes it or not. What we don't realize, is that He knows whether or not we will give in to temptation. All we need to do is ask Him to help us to deny temptation like He did.

So, when I grow up... I still don't really know what I want. Growing up, my mom often told me that God has a plan for you no matter what you have planned. With that in mind, I never really planned my life... who I will marry or where I will live. The typical girl plans their exact wedding, what age they want to get married, what age they are going to have children, if they even want children, and how many children they will have. Not me. God knows all of that already, and for me to plan just so that my plans will be rearranged? What's the point?

I want my future husband to know that I saved everything I have for him. That I did beat temptation for him. I only want to give him what I expect to receive from him on my wedding day. A man after God's own heart. Yep.

I want people to know that I am a christian whether or not I say anything. It should be evident in my life without saying a word.

No words. Just actions. Because of course, actions do indeed speak louder than words.